Having Kids Can Be So GROSS!

Being a parent can be so GROSS! There are so many things people don’t tell you about having kids. When you’re pregnant with your first — MOM’s you know this all too well — and if you don’t have kids yet… here’s what you have to look forward to. Having that baby bump means people give you all kinds of advice and anecdotes. They tell you all about the crazy big love you will feel for this being… they tell you it’s the hardest, most rewarding job ever! All true. They tell you how you’re going to be sleep deprived and crazy! True!! But they don’t tell you about all those fun, unexpected little GROSS surprises.  We’re not talking about diapers… you know those will be gross.  And, from being a little person, you know there will be vomit. And, snot. So much snot. And sometimes, not a single tissue in sight.

But it’s those unexpected, little surprises that GET YOU!! Like last night. We’d finally got the kids to bed and were enjoying that infamous “happy hour” … you know the one… no kids and a chance to watch one, maybe two of your shows UNINTERRUPTED!! When all of the sudden, we’re interrupted by a four year old little boy at the top of the stairs… in tears… saying something about his SPRINGY!! WHAT!? After he calmed down, we figured out he’s dropped his SLINKY into the toilet. The tears… BECAUSE HE’S ALREADY PEED!!!! And… Jackson, our precious son isn’t going to reach HIS hand into the toilet!!

And… DAD just sat on the couch… so ready to play the “let’s see who moves first.” So… as only a mom can do… I calmed him down… went upstairs to the scene of the crime… the toilet bowl… where I found his little, yellow toy slinky AT THE BOTTOM OF THE BOWL. After joking I was going to use his hand to fish it out, which TOTALLY FREAKED HIM OUT… I took a breath… reached my clean hand into the bowl and pulled it out. I’m happy to report he was well hydrated and hadn’t eaten the asparagus we served at dinner! SO GROSS!!!!  The things we do for our kids… and to avoid expensive plumbing bills!! Because you know if we were renting it would’ve been HASTA LAVISTA SLINKY!!!

So we want to know your GROSS parenting stories. What’s the GROSSEST thing you’ve ever done for your kids?

More from Michelle Arthur
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